Loneliness
by Hspirito
Summary: Ana is a lawyer and been married to Christian for 8 years. However, she has come to realize over the years that she is not a priority in his life. What happens when the last man she expected to make her feel important does just that?
1. Chapter 1

I realize this story is not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I want to go on record and say I LOVE the pairing of Ana and Christian. But the story has been done many times and done well. I wanted to write a story I have only seen a few times, a story that I find intriguing. The story of Carrick and Ana.

If that is not something you can wrap your head around I urge you to not read. If like me and the story piques your interest please do read and let me know your thoughts.

I have not decided exactly where I want this story to go, I am writing as thoughts come to mind. So if anyone has any ideas they want to share please do.

Again please review and let me know what you think.

APOV

I believe there are moments in a lifetime that define us. For me those moments would be the day I graduated from college, the day I married my husband, the day I graduated law school, the day I received my first job as a lawyer at a prestigious law firm, and the day I came to the conclusion that I would never be number one in my husband's life.

My name is Anastasia Grey and I am a 30-year-old wife and lawyer. I married my husband Christian when I was only 22 years old after only knowing him for four months. To say it was a whirlwind romance would be an understatement. We met, fell in love and got married faster than you can blink and in the beginning it was good, really good. He continued to build his business and I went to law school. My ultimate dream since I was a child was to be a lawyer and I was quite proud of myself for seeing it through. Yes, the hours and time I had to dedicate to law school were daunting but my husband put in just as many long hours, if not more, sustaining his business and making it prosper so it was a win win. As time ticked by and months turned to years I realized as much as I loved Christian I was a close second to his first love, his company. Now granted I was always out the door no later than 7 am and rarely home before 10 pm but my husband was even worse. If it weren't for text messages and email I don't know if we would have ever talked to each other. Granted we had moments of true happiness, on rare occasion we would take a trip and make each other priority one but in no way, was it enough at least not for me. None of this is to say that the blame rests 100% on Christians shoulders because as ambitious as he was I was the same. However, as I realized how little priority we had placed on our marriage I made a real effort to carve out time for just us but each time my efforts were shot down and after a while I just sort of gave up.

Then a little over a year ago I found myself noticing a man who had been in my life for over 8 years. I had spent more time with this man in the last few years than any other person in my life, I was an up and coming lawyer desperate to prove myself and he was a man who put his name and reputation on the line to get me the job. This was the man who mentored me, listened to me and believed in me. A man who was in a marriage similar to my own. Spending years alone and feeling more alone than any person deserved to feel.

He was without a doubt one of the most intelligent men I had ever met. From the beginning I found him both charming and caring and it didn't hurt that he was easy to look at. For an older man time had been very good to him and you could tell he put in real effort to do his part. Now while it's true that I always found him handsome I never felt anything romantic or sexual until a day a little over a year ago.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _It was raining cats and dogs outside and I was fighting the wind and my umbrella at the same time when I finally made it inside. I called for the elevator and as I waited he walked up behind me._

" _How are you doing today sweetheart?" Carrick asked as he kissed me on the cheek. For 7 years he had greeted me with the same greeting and the same kiss on the cheek. A mover I found comforting and familiar._

 _Smiling at him "Not to bad if you don't mind the rain. How about you handsome?" I always found it endearing the way he smiled whenever I called him handsome. A greeting I had used on him in turn for the last 7 years._

 _We got on the elevators together and somewhere between the 7_ _th_ _and 8_ _th_ _floor the elevator got stuck._

 _For the next half hour we talked and laughed about nothing in particular. It had been months since I had been able to talk so easily with another man and in the moment I saw him. A man who was looking to feel appreciated and heard. A man, like me, who was alone and didn't want to be. A man who derived to feel wanted and valued, the same way I felt I deserved to feel wanted and valued._

 _As the elevator doors opened we looked at each other and call me crazy but I think Carrick may have been feeling what I was feeling too._

CRPOV

I am a 62-year-old man but I have been told by almost everyone I come in contact with that I don't look a day over 50. I married Grace when I was 22 and she was only 19. In many ways we grew up together. We met when she was 17 and I was 19 and from day one I was attracted to her. She was intelligent, thoughtful, caring and beautiful. She had aspirations to be a doctor and I found that noble, when we married I had just started law school and she was in her second year of college majoring in pre-med. The years went by and we both succeeded in our respective fields. I was her biggest cheerleader and she was mine. Eventually the time came along when we were ready to expand our family, but due to circumstances beyond our control on both our sides we were unable to conceive a child of our own so in the end we adopted. We adopted three children in total all of whom filled our lives with joy and occasional disappointment. Ultimately turning into fine adults that any parent would be proud of. Anyway, as I was saying the years ticked by for Grace and me and somewhere along the way we became more roommates than spouses. She was more interested in the ways of proper society and being a part of the upper crest, I was more interested in playing golf and having an occasional bear when my case load permitted. I guess you can say at some point Grace and I became two ships passing in the night. Do I love her? Absolutely. However over the years it became a simple, companion kind of love.

Yet something happened 8 years ago when my son Christian brought home by far one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes on. When Anastasia walked into our home I nearly felt the wind knocked out of me. Her kindness and her intelligence were truly enduring. I learned she had aspirations to be a lawyer and she and I bonded immediately over our shared passion for the law. I was thrilled that my son had found such a sweet girl but I will admit a part of me was envious. So Christian and Ana got married; Christian continued to be consumed by his business and Ana whizzed her way through law school. As she approached graduation I offered her a job at my law firm. Granted it was an entry level position but I had no doubt through hard work and determination she would work her way through the ranks and damnit if I wasn't right. Watching her succeed and grow filled me with pride and knowing I had a fellow Grey at my firm didn't hurt matters either.

Now comes the part of the story where I know some, if not most, people will look upon me with disgust. A year ago, Ana and I were working late one night on a case together…

 _FLASHBACK_

 _It was approaching on Midnight and Ana and I had been working on this case for days and getting no closer to a resolution._

" _We need to take a break. My brain has left the building on this one. I swear all of this is beginning to look Chinese." Ana said as she ran her hands through her long brown hair slowly working her fingers into her temples trying to relieve the tension that continued to build. She stood to stretch her limbs and walk around a little. She was wearing a beautiful, simple, midnight blue dress with 6-inch Louboutin heels, minimal makeup and she never looked more beautiful. As she walked closer to the window that overlooked the Seattle skyline she turned and asked._

" _So, isn't Grace going to be wondering where you are?"_

 _Deciding to stand myself and walk to the other side of the window so Ana and I were only 5 or so feet apart I answered. "I highly doubt she even misses me."_

 _At that Ana gave me a half smile and said. "I know a little something about that."_

 _Based on the number of hours we worked and the fact that we had a standing weekly lunch date I knew of some of the problems that had been brewing in my sons marriage. I knew Ana was feeling lonely and at times neglected, I also knew she was too proud to say anything. As she told me on more than one occasion "I made a commitment to Christian and I will stick to my word but I would be lying if I said I wasn't lonely." Each time she would confide in my I found myself become angry. Ana was too young, beautiful, kind and smart to be feeling so alone. She deserved to be with someone who knew how amazing she really was._

 _In that moment we looked at each other and I said first "Christian doesn't know what he is missing out on."_

 _Followed by Ana saying "Grace doesn't realize what she is missing."_

 _At that moment she bit her lip and I don't know what the hell happened but it felt like I had to be closer to her. Slowly I started walking closer to her and I found myself with my hand resting on the base of her neck "If you were mine you wouldn't feel alone. Do you know just how beautiful you are?"_

 _She looked at me for the longest moment and for a second I feared I had crossed a line we would never be able to come back from. Then she surprised me by resting her hand on my hip and coming just a little bit closer to me and said. "You are the one person who makes me feel like I am actually not alone."_

 _Don't asked me who leaned in first because I don't think I could answer that. In an instant I had Ana pressed against the wall, leaning all my weight into her and I was kissing her. My mouth sought her out and to my surprise she didn't resist she opened her mouth and our tongues dueled for control. My hand pressed tighter around her throat while my other hand cupped her ass. Her hands were just as unforgiving. One hand still resting on my hip and the other circled around my waist pulling me deeper into her we kissed for what felt like hours both feeling wanted for the first time in years …_


	2. Chapter 2

I want to go on record and say that personally speaking I do not condone cheating under any circumstance. However, this is a work of fiction and sometimes in life things are not black and white. This is a story about parts of life that are grey, how sometimes no matter how wrong something is we just can't help ourselves.

I appreciate that some of you can not accept any concept that doesn't have Ana and Christian in a HEA scenario. That being said if you can not handle the idea of Ana with another man I strongly suggest you do not read this story.

For those of you willing to step outside of the box and entertain the idea of Ana with another man I appreciate your willingness to give this story a chance.

Please let me know what you think and for those of you inclined to share your thoughts on what you like/don't like or what you want to see happen next please don't hesitate to share.

Chapter two

APO

That night when Carrick and I kissed in his office was without a doubt a night I would not forget for several reasons. I was a married woman and Carrick was a married man. The guilt over what we had allowed to happen took hold and was as intense as any emotion I had ever felt. Regardless of the circumstances that transpired in my marriage that led me to feel like more of an obligation versus a wife where my husband was concerned were not the issue, the bottom line was I was married. After that moment of weakness I spent the next several weeks trying to make a renewed effort with Christian. I stopped by his office, called him in the middle of the day just to say hello, planned dinner so we could enjoy some time together and hopefully get back to a happier footing in our marriage. Each effort was met with dismissal. Always claiming he was too busy, an important deal had come up that demanded his attention, and on and on. Yet again I was reminded of how insignificant I was in Christians life in comparison to his company. Here I was making a true effort to prioritize our marriage and at every turn I got turned down.

As the weeks ticked by and each renewed effort was shot down by Christian I found myself thinking about that moment with Carrick. The way he grabbed me, the way his hands felt against my skin, the way it felt when he kissed me. It felt safe and passionate at the same time. It felt like for the first time in a long time someone wanted me, not as an accessory or a trophy but as a woman. The way he looked at me told me I mattered to him and I could only hope he knew that he mattered to me. The question was would I be willing to give in to my temptations, would I be willing to go down a road that was paved with danger and unknown?

Getting ready for work I stood in my matching black bra and panties in my massive walk in closet and my mind kept spinning. I felt like I was losing my mind. The promises and commitments I made to Christian were a fact. However, I was a young woman and dare I say I had needs. It was painfully clear that Christian didn't see me anymore not in the way a husband should see his wife, and after years of being unbearably lonely I found myself at a moment where that was no longer the case.

Fixating my eyes on a black Channel dress that was three quarters of the way backless I knew I had made my decision.

CRPOV

Sitting in my office downtown looking out the very window that I looked out of the night I kissed Ana I thought of how for the last two months I have thought of nothing more than that midnight kiss with Ana. Now, this is not to say that I didn't feel guilt or remorse over what I had allowed to happen that night. Not only was I married I had just crossed an uncross able line with my son's wife. For two months I took a step back from Ana. I knew she had to seriously think about what she wanted and how far she was willing to go. As for me I already knew the answer from my perspective. Yes I loved Grace but the truth was I wasn't in love with her, I didn't desire her, I didn't think of her in a physical or sexual way. I thought of her as the mother of my children, as the woman I had spent over 4 decades with, as a woman I grew up with and my greatest friend and ally. But when I thought of Ana I thought of the way her ass felt under my hand that night, the way she moaned when I squeezed her throat, how her lips parted when I kissed her, the way the skin on her arms heated up as I ran my hands up and down her flesh. I wanted her in every way and I could only hope that she felt the same.

I knew today was the day that I laid it all on the table for her. I didn't want anyone to get hurt but damn I had to have her. It had gotten so bad that I found myself having sex dreams about her. Fantasizing about her in my shower, in my car, in my office, on my desk…

As my thoughts began to run away from me I heard my office door open and quickly close again. Turning my chair so I was now facing the door I saw Ana. For the last two months we have maintained our professional relationship acting as if nothing had happened. Acting so well in fact that we both deserved awards for our performances. Keeping a respectable distance but maintaining a familiarity around each other so no one suspected anything was amiss. However, looking at her standing at my door I could feel it in my bones something was different. She looked breathtaking in her black dress. Not to say she didn't look beautiful everyday because I would be lying if I said otherwise. It was just today it was like she chose to be a bit sexier and edgier than usual. I couldn't help but hope that she had me in mind when she chose that dress this morning.

"Carrick." She said in a tone that was just above a whisper. By the way she was looking at me I knew she caught the gleam in my eye. It was like she knew what I was thinking and I couldn't help but prey that she was thinking the same.

I stood slowly and walked over to her. Standing less than a foot away from her I was about to start speaking when she cut me off.

"For the last several years you have become a best friend to me. You have helped mentor me and nurture my ambition where the law is concerned. You have helped get me where I am now."

Listening to her speak I fear I am getting the kiss off and just as I begin to prepare myself for the worst she moves slightly closer to me.

"But something changed. I don't know exactly when or how it happened. I found myself excited when I knew I was going to see you. Thinking about you when something interesting happened knowing you would find it interesting as well. When you kissed me I wanted to be upset but I wasn't. For the last two months I have tried to put some distance between us because I know if we pursue this people are going to get hurt in the end. But the fact is I want you…"

The quacking in my heart as I hear Ana say she wants me feels like a jolt of electricity. I try to speak. In that moment there is so much I want to tell her but for some reasons no words come.

"I don't want you as a best friend. When you say my name time just stops for a split second. You have seen me at my not so best moments over the last 8 years and no matter what the moment I never felt like you judged me. You have become the one person in my life who doesn't seem to judge me or hold me to an impossible standard. You see me." Taking a step closer to me I feel both her hands move to rest on my forearms. "I want you to know that I see you too Carrick. I see a brilliant man who deserves to feel like he's wanted. Tell me if I'm out of place. I don't think you have felt wanted as a man in a long time."

Finally finding my voice I move my hand around her waist and rest it on her ass, the place I have wanted to put my hand for the last two months. "No Ana I haven't felt wanted as a man in years. Not until a few months ago. I saw you look at me and at the moment I thought I was crazy but you looked at me like you wanted me, like you needed me. Let me tell you that moment everything changed. I knew I wanted you but I never thought for a second you would feel the same so I resisted and kept my distance. I never wanted to push you away or make you feel uncomfortable. So I kept it professional and was here for you like a best friend, someone you could confide in and trust. Hearing you talk about how lonely you have felt the last few years broke my heart. You my dear girl are stunning, intelligent, kind and dare I say sexy as hell."

The smile she gives me when I say that gives me the courage I need to continue. "That night that I kissed you I felt alive for the first time in years. I felt passion and heat. I felt desire coarse through my veins. I can't stop thinking about you sweetheart. I think about how your ass feels in my hands, how your skin warms up under my touch, the way your lips felt when I kissed you. But now I think about how your body would feel undermine, how we would fit together, how I would make you feel like a woman and you would make me feel like a man, how I would love you in every way a man can love a woman with his body."

Moving her arms around my wrist so her hands are now resting on my ass in the same fashion that my hands are resting on her ass she pulls me closer to her. "This morning when I got dressed all I could think about was how I put this dress on so you could take it off."

The second those words come out of her mouth I swear all control left my body. I picked her up and started walking toward the door. I slammed her against the door as her legs wrapped like a vein around my waist. I kissed her like my life depended on it. Starting at her neck sucking on her flesh, in that moment not caring if I left a mark. Feeling her hands comb through my hair only spurred me on more. Sucking harder on the skin of her neck I moved up to her throat, then her jaw. Wrapping my hand around her throat with just enough pressure I squeezed just hard enough to turn her on that much more.

"Tell me you want me."

She moaned in a way I had never heard before. I knew she wanted me but I had to hear it. She had to tell me.

"Say it Ana. Tell me right now that you want me."

Moving her hands down to my neck she began to scratch my skin with just enough pressure that it hurt and that little bit of pain was enough to turn me on that much more. Like I really needed help with that. She grabbed one of my hands and placed it against her breast. I could feel how hard her nipple was through her dress and I moaned at the feel of it. "Do you feel that handsome. I am so turned on right now I want you in the worst way but I think I have a better way to convince you." Taking my hand that is resting on her breast she moves it down the length of her body, stopping at the edge of her dress she takes my hand and snakes it under her dress and over her thigh. Before I know it she has my hands cupping her mound and I can feel how wet she is through her panties. Moving her mouth so her lips are centimeters away from my ear she whispers "Do you feel how wet I am? That is from thinking about you. Touch me Carrick."

Looking her in the eye I need her to understand what this means if we take this a step farther. "We do this Ana and I won't be able to stop at just once. You let me touch you. You let me feel what it's like to be inside of you than that is it. I won't be able to stop. Now tell me… Do you want me to touch you?"

She looks at me for just a second and then surprises the hell out of me. She takes my hand and works it into her panties so my fingers are in direct contact with her pussy. I swear in that moment I almost cum in my pants. I know what she is doing but I need her to be sure. She takes it a step further and takes her hand and works her way down the length of my body. I feel her hand at the button of my dress slakes and I can't help but moan loudly as she unbuttons my pants and unzips me. I feel her hand wrap around my dick slowly stroking me. "Carrick I want you. Right here. Right now." Increasing the pressure around my shaft I work my fingers to her clit and begin slowly rubbing her. It has been years since I was touched like this and I know I'm not going to last.

Working her clit harder increasing the pressure slowly inserting my fingers inside of her one at a time until three of my fingers are buried deep inside of her I hear her moan even louder than before. She starts sucking the pulse point on my neck sucking as hard as she is rubbing my dick. "Oh god Carrick." Hearing her say my name while my fingers are buried inside of her just spurs me on and makes me go even deeper and harder wanting to hear and feel her cum undone around my fingers. In return she gives me the best hand job I have ever had. Rubbing up and down my shaft at an unrelenting pace squeezing as she moves her hand up and down, sporadically tugging my balls and applying just enough pressure. We both cum at the same time in each other's hand and in that moment I am hooked.

Kissing my lips in a harsh unforgiving matter Ana climbs down my body tucking my dick back into my pants all while kissing the breath from me she asks a question that makes me laugh "Do you still wonder if I want you handsome?"

Removing my fingers and fixing her dress I hold her as tight to me as possible kissing her neck slowly and with affection I whisper against the skin of her throat. "Not in the least. Hope you know the feeling is mutual."

At that she smiles and kisses me on the cheek before heading for the door. Before she unlocks the door she turns to me, winks and says, "I hope you meant it when you said this wasn't a one time thing cause I don't want you to stop." That comment forces the largest smile to my face and as she opens the door and begins to walk down the hall toward her office I call after her. Stopping in her path she turns around to look at me and rewards me with the brightest smile I have ever seen as I say. "I meant every word."


	3. Chapter 4

I want to address something that I feel is important for those of you reading this story to understand. Yes Ana is married to Christian but for all intents and purposes it is a marriage in name only and the same is true for Carrick, at least from his perspective.

With that being said does that make cheating ok? No it doesn't. However, this is a story about what happens when the last person you ever expected is the one person who gives you not just everything you want but everything you need.

Ana has tried for the last few years to get Christian to pay attention to her and prioritize their marriage. NO he is not cheating but he is completely MIA. He has completely removed himself emotionally from the marriage to focus on his company. After repeatedly being rejected and dismissed by Ana she has essentially given up. Her mentality is if he isn't going to try then why should I?

The concept being; should Ana be attracted to Carrick? No. Should she stay away from him? Yes. Yet there is something about him, he is her mentor, her friend, he is familiar and more important than anything else he makes her feel wanted and valued. For Carrick he is in a marriage that has changed over time. Yes, he loves Grace but it is a comfortable, friendly, familiar kind of love. He hasn't felt wanted or needed as a man in several years.

I know some of this is hard for some to wrap their heads around. I, myself, am not typically a fan of cheat stories either. However, the Ana/Christian story has been done and done well by many. Yet there are many stories that explore the idea of Christian cheating and very few with Ana. As a reader of fanfiction I wanted to post something different and something that has not really been done. A story about Ana needing something more and after trying and failing for years to make Christian understand her needs she succumbs to temptation and finds what she desires else ware the thing that makes it that much worse is the fact that she finds these things with Carrick.

I hope my little 'schpeel' was able to clarify any confusion for my intentions with this story.

As always I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this story and share with me their thoughts on what they have read or hope to read going forward.

For those of you unwilling/unable to grasp the idea of Ana being with anyone other than Christian this story is not for you.

Chapter 3

APOV

It has been a month since that day in Carrick's office where we both initiated an intimate, sexual, relationship with one another. At times I wonder who the hell I have become. This is something I never thought I would participate in in my wildest dreams. I never saw myself as the type of person who would cheat under any circumstance. When I married Christian, I was so sure I was making the right decision. I thought we had the kind of love that would sustain and last us for years to come. I don't know what happened or when it happened but somewhere along the way it was like we became indifferent to each other. Initially I understood Christian throwing himself into work the way he did. He and Ros were expanding GEH into Europe and it required meticulous energy and focus to do it and do it well. Yet within eighteen months the GEH European branch was up and running. However, for the next year there was still one emergency after another, one late night conference call that kept him from coming home until 3 a.m., hell half the time he only came home long enough to shower and change his clothes before he would return back to the office. I tried for the longest time to spend more quality time with him, to force our marriage to be a priority. But the more I tried the more I was turned down and as a result I found myself become more resentful and distant. I'm sorry but a person can only stand being rejected so many times. It was clear I was not a priority and at best I occupied second place status in my husband's life. I don't think it was or is wrong of me to want to be important in my husband's life. While it is true he never flat out said anything demeaning his actions spoke volumes. I wasn't going to force my husband to prioritize our marriage or me. So, I threw myself into work. After all I learned from the master. Soon my hours rivaled those of Christians. In no time at all I made something of myself. I graduated law school top of my class, I became a junior associate at a respected law firm and in a few years' time I made partner. For a while my career was enough; every time I came home to an empty home and woke up in an empty bed, each time I made plans to have dinner with my husband and instead found myself working through dinner alone because he couldn't be bothered to spend time with me, every rubber chicken society dinner I was obligated to attend with Christian because I was Mrs. Grey where each and every time I inevitably found myself sitting alone at the bar as he charmed some random individual I found myself slowly becoming more numb and withdrawn.

Some would say why don't you just leave him if you are so unhappy? The answer to that is I'm afraid to leave him. I have been tied to him for the last 8 years. He was my first real everything in terms of a relationship. I don't know who I am without being a lawyer and Christian Grey's wife. And as crazy as it may sound I don't want to hurt him. I know he still deals with abandonment and neglect issues and I don't want to be the one to rip the band aid off the bullet wound, so to speak. With that being said I also need companionship in my life and as strange and unexpected as it is I have found that with Carrick. I will not apologize for the fact that I want someone in my life who wants me and that someone just so happened to be Carrick. I know there is no expectation where he is concerned for me to end my marriage and the same is true for me.

I have always found Carrick to be a good-looking man but I was never sexually attracted to him. Obviously, that began to slowly change over time. I know it's wrong but I am, undeniably, attracted to Carrick. His hands particularly turn me on. I don't know what it is but every time I feel his hands brush against my skin I feel like I am on fire. But it's more than sexual. I respect and admire him. He is brilliant and I have always found intelligence to be a major turn on. Something about a man who can hold a conversation and clearly express his opinions has always appealed to me. The fact that his passion, like mine, is law makes it that much more attractive. We have spent countless nights sitting in one of our offices discussing and debating the finer points of the law until the early hours of the morning.

The last few weeks I have spent time with Carrick not just talking about work or preparing for an upcoming trial. Just enjoying his company. Granted I already knew a lot about him but I grew to learn more. He told me more about his childhood, how his dad taught him how to play poker, the sadness he felt when both he and Grace were unable to conceive children, the thrill he had practicing the law and the passion he still felt for his profession. He talked to me for hours about everything and nothing. It wasn't until those moments that he was opening up to me that I realized just how much I had missed having someone to talk to. He wanted to share his thoughts with me and in turn he wanted me to share my thoughts with him. It mattered to him and in turn it mattered that much more to me.

Tonight, was going to be a test of will. It was the annual Coping Together Ball and I had to admit I was nervous. Standing in my closet putting on my floor length deep purple Vera Wang gown and slipping on my heels I knew tonight we were playing an especially dangerous game. Up until tonight we had kept our physical, intimate, relationship confined to the four walls of our respective offices. There had been no one to scrutinize us or give us questioning looks. In our offices we let ourselves be and didn't second guess our actions. Tonight, would be different. We wouldn't be able to touch or talk to each other the way we had become accustomed to. I was nervous weather we would be able to pull off this performance and not draw unnecessary or unwanted attention to ourselves.

CRPOV

The last month has been the best month of my life. Granted I knew Ana and knew her well. She had been apart of my life for 8 years and once she began working at my firm a few years ago she became a daily fixture in my life. The person I spent the most time with inside and outside of work. Now she was more and she was confiding in me more and more. Telling me about her childhood, her mother's many boyfriends, her insecurities, her unquestionable love and affection for Ray, why the law was her passion, even explaining to me why The Notebook was by far the best movie ever with Marley and Me being a close second. Remembering her logic in explaining those two films to me made me laugh out loud. One night in my office after I told her I had never seen either film she demanded that we correct that. We watched both movies and I couldn't help but tear up a little as I watched Ana cry during The Notebook when, at the end of the film, Noah and Ally die holding each other in their sleep, or at the end of Marley and Me when that crazy dog dies. As much as I hated to see her cry I had to admit I had never seen her look more beautiful. Curled up next to me on my couch without a drop of makeup on, wearing jeans and a sweater with her head resting against my shoulder. She was vulnerable and exposed, in my opinion, when she openly cried at random moments during the two movies. Her willingness to expose herself to me in an emotional way meant more to me than I could express. I knew she trusted me but in that moment it went to another level.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _The second film ended and Ana was wiping the tears away from her eyes. I gave her a minute before turning to look at her._

 _Taking my finger and wiping the stray tears that she missed. She relaxed her face into my open palm and just stared at me for a moment._

" _So what did you think?"_

" _I thought they were ok." The second the word ok came out of my mouth you would have thought I had run over her puppy, in a flash my sweet emotional girl pounced. She straddled my lap and with a look of shock said._

" _Ok? You thought they were ok? How could you watch those two sweet old people die together and see the crazy dog get old and die and only say they are ok?"_

 _I couldn't help but laugh out loud at her seriousness and in a moment she was laughing right along with me. After we both gained control of ourselves I could feel myself become aroused due to the fact that Ana was still straddling my lap. I saw her eyes grow larger as she felt me grow underneath her. She started to grind, very slowly, into my lap. Suddenly there was nothing funny about this moment any longer. All I felt was uncontrollable need for this woman and I knew tonight it wasn't going to be enough to just touch her with my fingers. As if she could read my mind I felt Ana start to lift off my lap to remove my pants and boxers. Forcing them past my hips she began to move her pants and panties down her legs. Rocking her hips against mine I knew she wanted this to happen as badly as I did but I needed to say it and more than that I needed to hear her say it._

 _Moving my lips so I was sucking on the flesh of her neck and circling my hands around her waist and moving my hands so they were cupping and squeezing her ass cheeks. "I want you so bad baby."_

 _She began to moan and move faster against me creating more needed friction between us. Taking the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my hand. Her nails began scratching down my chest, past my stomach and resting her hands on my hips. She smiled and said "That's the first time you called me baby."_

 _I smirked at the fact that out of all of the things that were happening she focused on that word. Putting my hands on her hips to still her movements so I could look her dead in the eye. "You are my baby. Tell me you want me."_

 _With a look of calm seriousness in a low convincing tone she lifted her top over her head and said "Baby, I want you. Now tell me you want me."_

" _Ana, you know I want you."_

 _And that was all that needed to be said. For the next two hours I showed her over and over again just how much I wanted her. Touching every inch of her skin, having her touch me in turn, feeling myself inside of her growing harder and harder each time I entered her, hearing her moan my name and the feeling of how wet she was. Best two hours of my life._

Getting in to my tux for The Coping Together Ball I keep thinking about the fact that this is the first time Ana and I will be in a public setting since our physical relationship started a month ago. I have to admit I am nervous. I know she is going to look beautiful and I know I wont be able to stop looking at her and wanting to touch her. I just pray that we are able to pull this off with no one being the wiser.

THE COPING TOGETHER BALL

About 45 minutes into the party I see Ana walk into the party on the arm of my son. Anyone who didn't know them would think they are the perfect couple. Looking at them they both just look like they stepped off the cover of a magazine. Yet, I know the truth and the truth is not at all a happy image. If you truly look at her face you can tell that yes she is smiling but the smile is not reaching her eyes, her hand is resting in the crock of his arm but it is stiff and completely unrelaxed.

Wearing a beautiful dark purple dress that accentuates all her best features; her small hips, her chest, and her flat stomach a song starts playing over the loud speaker and I swear if I didn't know any better it was planned.

 ** _All eyes on you, my magician_** _ **  
**_ ** _All eyes on us_** _ **  
**_ ** _You make everyone disappear, and_** _ **  
**_ ** _Cut me into pieces_** _ **  
**_ ** _Gold cage, hostage to my feelings_** _ **  
**_ ** _Back against the wall_** _ **  
**_ ** _Trippin, trip-trippin when you're gone_**

Her eyes lock with mine and as I see the sly smile come to her lips and a faint glint come from her eyes. I know she is thinking the same thing as me…

 ** _Cause we break down a little_** _ **  
**_ ** _But when you get me alone, it's so simple_** _ **  
**_ ** _Cause baby, I know what you know_** _ **  
**_ ** _We can feel it_**

 ** _And all the pieces fall_** _ **  
**_ ** _Right into place_** _ **  
**_ ** _Get caught up in a moment_** _ **  
**_ ** _Lipstick on your face_** _ **  
**_ ** _So it goes…_** _ **  
**_ ** _I'm yours to keep_** _ **  
**_ ** _And I'm yours to lose_** _ **…**_

I almost laugh at the irony of the lyrics. She is definitely not a bad girl but there is no question she does do bad things with me… for instance at this moment I know we are both thinking how badly we wish no one else was here in the room with us and that we were able to interact the way we do when we are alone in my office or hers…

 ** _Met you in a bar_** _ **  
**_ ** _All eyes on me, your illusionist_** _ **  
**_ ** _All eyes on us_** _ **  
**_ ** _I make all your grey days clear_** _ **  
**_ ** _And wear you like a necklace_** _ **  
**_ ** _I'm so chill, but you make me jealous_** _ **  
**_ ** _But I got your heart_** _ **  
**_ ** _Skippin, skip-skippin when I'm gone_**

 ** _Cause we break down a little_** _ **  
**_ ** _But when I get you alone, it's so simple_** _ **…**_

Looking at her standing several feet from me I can not get over how effortlessly beautiful she is. Everything about her screams beauty and grace and the thing of it is she has no idea just how stunning she is. Making her all the more beautiful…

 ** _And all our pieces fall_** _ **  
**_ ** _Right into place_** _ **  
**_ ** _Get caught up in a moment_** _ **  
**_ ** _Lipstick on your face_** _ **  
**_ ** _So it goes…_** _ **  
**_ ** _I'm yours to keep_** _ **  
**_ ** _And I'm yours to lose_** _ **  
**_ ** _You know I'm not a bad girl, but I_** _ **  
**_ ** _Do bad things with you_** _ **  
**_ ** _So it goes…_**

The longer I look at her and the more I concentrate on the lyrics of the song I force myself to sit down due to the fact that I am quickly becoming very aroused… I can't help but wonder what is under that dress. I wonder if she is as turned on as I am at this moment…

 ** _You did a number on me_** _ **  
**_ ** _But, honestly, baby, who's counting?_** _ **  
**_ ** _I did a number on you_** _ **  
**_ ** _But, honestly, baby, who's counting?_** _ **  
**_ ** _You did a number on me_** _ **  
**_ ** _But, honestly, baby, who's counting?_** _ **  
**_ ** _Who's counting?_** _ **  
**_ ** _(1. 2. 3.)_**

 ** _And all our pieces fall (pieces fall)_** _ **  
**_ ** _Right into place_** _ **  
**_ ** _Get caught up in a moment (caught up, caught up)_** _ **  
**_ ** _Lipstick on your face_** _ **  
**_ ** _So it goes (goes)_** _ **  
**_ ** _I'm yours to keep (oh)_** _ **  
**_ ** _And I'm yours to lose (baby)_** _ **  
**_ ** _You know I'm not a bad girl, but I_** _ **  
**_ ** _Do bad things with you_** _ **  
**_ ** _So it goes…_**

I notice Christian whisper in Ana's ear, quickly kiss her on the cheek, and then start to walk away toward what I assume is a gentleman he does business with or hopes to do business with. Ana grabs a glass of champagne off a serving tray and casually makes her way over to me…

 ** _Come here, dressed in black now_** _ **  
**_ ** _So, so, so it goes_** _ **  
**_ ** _Scratches down your back now_** _ **  
**_ ** _So, it goes…_**

Just as the song ends she takes the seat next to mine, making sure no one can over hear her she leans in and whispers in my ear. "I couldn't help but notice you were beginning to get excited there when you saw me. Anything you would like to share"

Feeling her breath on my ear, noticing the bit of cleavage I can see looking down her dress, and feeling her hand resting on my thigh in what would be mistaken as an innocent move by anyone else I feel myself becoming painfully hard through my tuxedo pants. Turning my gaze at her so my eyes are locked with hers I whisper "Baby, what are you doing?"

Removing her hand from my thigh she smirks and casually takes a sip of her champagne. Very calmly she says "Well I was planning on scratching your back Mr, Grey that is after I have you undressed and have you help me out of this gown." Feeling my breath quicken and my skin start to heat up. She moves closer to me for just a moment and places her hand back on my thigh and whispers the words that are my undoing "I can see how hard you are baby would it interest you to know that I am just as wet thinking about you?" I swear the woman is trying to kill me.

(The song is So it goes… by Taylor Swift)


	4. Chapter 6

_**I want to start by thanking all of you once again for your patience. I had a serious case of writer's block there for a while and between that, work and kids time flew away from me. Until the other day I hadn't realized just how long it had been since I updated this story. So again, thank you to those who have stuck with this story and waited for an update.**_

 _ **I want to say, I have a real issue with stories that are not completed so that will NOT happen with this story.**_

 _ **I know some of you cannot, and will not, accept a story like this. I appreciate it and understand it. However, fair warning was given from the beginning. If you know you cannot tolerate reading a story where Christian or Ana are with other people that**_ _ **DO NOT**_ _ **read this story.**_

 _ **I welcome any thoughts that anyone has to share. As always constructive opinions and thoughts on the story so far and where you would like to see it go are always appreciated.**_

 _ **I hope this chapter does not disappoint and was worth the wait…**_

Chapter Five

Carrick and I have been having our affair for a little over 3 months now and each time we were alone, intimately, together felt like we were racing the clock. The only places we were able to be together without drawing attention to ourselves were our offices. With both of us having a steady case load that didn't allow for much time for us to be alone. I had my CPO, Sawyer, and I was consciously aware of his constant presence. So far, I am confident we have not raised unnecessary suspicion. It is not unusual for Carrick and I to be in one another's office for hours on end discussing a legal matter pertaining to one of our clients. Obviously in the last few months those hours we spend locked away together there is very little talking going on if either one of us have anything to say about it.

The exception being the ball last month when we impulsively snuck away to be with each other. Sitting here alone in my office I can't help but smile when I think about that night. The way he needed me in that moment was the biggest turn on. Taking a huge risk sneaking off because we just couldn't wait any longer. Just thinking about it now weeks later made me hot.

Looking at the clock I knew Carrick was on a phone call with a perspective client. Walking out of my office the few feet it took to get to Carrick's office I felt relieved to see both of our secretaries weren't at their desks. Deciding this was my chance to do something fun and impulsive. I knew it was reckless but I just couldn't stay away from him any longer.

Carefully opening his door so I was as quiet as possible I smiled at the sight in front of me. He was so predictable. Every time he was on the phone with a perspective client he would stand, with his back toward the door, looking out of the window that looked over the city. While on the call he would loosen his tie and let it hang around his neck with a pencil rocking back and forth between two of his fingers. Knowing he didn't know I was there I carefully locked his door and walked up behind him and as soon as I was as close to him as I could get without touching him I snacked my arms around his waist and started softly kissing his neck. I wanted to laugh when I heard the slight uptick in his breathing.

It had been a long four days since we had been able to be with each other due to scheduling conflicts and social engagements we weren't able to get out of. Since our physical relationship began we hadn't gone without each other for more that 48 hours. I was feeling needy and I knew without a doubt that Carrick was feeling the same. Taking advantage of the fact that he was on a call that he couldn't very well end I stepped up my game.

Nibbling on his ear and undoing the buttons on his shirt until I had it completely undone. Running my hands up and down his chest. Even though he was a solid 20 plus years older than me he was an incredibly handsome, attractive man. He took great pride in taking care of himself and I always took the opportunity to recognize that and show my appreciation. Toying with his nipples, pinching them, in the way that I knew never failed to turn him on his breathing changed yet again. Continuing my assault alternating between biting his earlobe and sucking on his neck he finally caved and turned to look at me.

The look in his eyes, the way he held my gaze and never looked away from me only turned me on more than I was. He shocked me when he put the call on speaker and lifted me so I was sitting on his desk. Slowly unbuttoning my dress shirt and running his hands over my chest letting each hand rest on either one of my breasts. Pinching and tugging my nipples over my bra until they were painfully hard. He was giving as good as he was getting and I knew this next move would be considered playing with fire.

I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him as close to me as I could. Rubbing against him I could feel his erection growing through his slacks. Creating as much friction as I could I kept rubbing against him until he had to push me away. Luckily for both of us the moment he pushed me away was the moment the prospective client ended the call after having set up a time and date to meet with Carrick.

As soon as the call was ended he grabbed me and roughly pressed me against the window. Tearing my bra off and attacking my breast with his mouth while he kept a firm grip on the back of my neck.

"I take it you don't mind my interruption."

Breaking himself away from my breast he started unbuttoning my slacks as he said "That was the greatest kind of interruption. Do you know how bad I want you? How much I have missed you the last four days." Somehow, he was able to get me completely naked without me noticing. Placing me on his desk while he removed his shirt and took his slacks off. "All I have thought about the last four days is you. Wondering what you were doing when I wasn't with you. Wondering if you were thinking about me the way I was thinking about you. Wondering if you were wanting me as bad as I was wanting you."

At the moment I had to interrupt him. He had to know the way I felt about him… what he meant to me. Placing my hands on his face forcing him to look me in the eye, "Carrick when I'm not with you all I think about is you. If I see something on tv that I know you would find interesting or entertaining I wonder what you would say if we were watching it together. If I read something I wonder if you would find it interesting or think it was lacking in some way. At night when I lay in bed alone I think about what it would be like for you to be there laying next to me. What it would be like to make love to you whenever and however I wanted. Waking up with you and feel you holding me. You, are always on my mind. Don't doubt that."

Her words moved him and she could see his eyes become a bit misty. At the moment there were no more words that needed to be said. They lost themselves in each other over and over again. Hours went by before they were finally satisfied. Luckily for Ana, Carrick had several extra bras for her in a chest in his office seeing as he had a habit of tearing it off her whenever he was more needy for her than usual.

As we made ourselves presentable Carrick said something that thrilled me in a way I honestly never expected. Wrapping his arms around my waist with his head in the crock of my neck while rubbing my back he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, "I love you."

I smiled hearing him say those words. Everything felt different with him. With Carrick I felt like an equal. I felt respected and valued. In the last few months as our relationship changed I never once felt anything but wanted or needed by this man. He brought something back to my life that I knew I was missing but didn't realize just how much I missed it until he and I began our intimate relationship. I no longer felt like an asset. I felt like a woman. Without hesitation I rested my hand on his check forcing him to look at me. Once his eye met mine I responded "I love you too."

Hearing me say those words he kissed me with so much sweetness and love. It wasn't sexual it was love. Pulling away he rested his forehead against mine. I don't know how long we stood there in that position.

Unfortunately, we both had to meet with clients at that moment otherwise who knows what would have happened in the privacy of Carrick's office.

Several hours later the evening was coming to an end and we would have to go our separate ways. I knew Grace was working the late shift at the hospital and knowing Christian he would be at GEH until the late hours of the evening.

Just as I was packing up my things to go home my phone dinged. It was a text message from Christian.

 _Just got word I have to go out of town for a few days. Emergency at the New York office._

Reading his message, it was just one more reminder of what my marriage had become. There was a time when he would have called or stopped by to tell me about such a last-minute trip, promising to make up for his absence when he returned and telling me how much he would miss me and how much he loved me.

For the first time those memories didn't make me bitter. In the past I would be paralyzed wondering where it had all gone wrong and what had happened to drive us so far apart. Instead it made me smile. Knowing there were several good memories throughout our marriage that stood as proof of what we once were and how amazing we once had been. Now I was standing here knowing without a doubt that we were no longer those people and for the first time I accepted it.

Tearing myself away from my thoughts I responded…

 _Have a safe trip. I hope everything gets resolved._

The reply was as formal as the message he originally sent. I knew it was only a matter of time before we would both need to sit down and have an honest conversation about our relationship and our marriage. In the past thinking about that brought up feelings of dreed. Until now. Now I knew things had changed beyond the point of repair.

Sitting back down at my desk I allowed my mind to wander. I never thought things would get to where they had. I never thought I would think of my husband and not get the same rush I got at the start of our relationship. Never thought the day would come when he would tell me he was going out of town and instead of feeling a sense of sadness at the thought of being away from him I would feel a sense of relief that he would be gone and I wouldn't be made to feel the need to pretend things were ok between us. Never thought the day would come when I would look at Carrick and think of him as the man I was in love with. Yet, here I was and all of those things were true.

My thoughts were halted when there was a knock on my door and in walked the man than brought nothing but a smile to my face.

Closing the door behind him he walked closer to me and sat on the edge of my desk.

Standing up and walking toward him I stood in between his legs, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head in the crock of his neck. As he always did, he started softly rubbing my back in slow soothing circles.

Pulling back just enough so I could look at him without breaking our physical contact

"I want us to spend the night together. I want to spend all night with you. I want us to be free to take our time with each other. I want to touch you and have you touch me without feeling rushed. I want to fall asleep with you holding me and wake up next to you.

I know Grace is working the night shift and Christian just alerted me to a business trip he has to leave for tonight. What do you say?"

A huge smile spread to my face and the next words out of his mouth both surprised me and thrilled me.

"I already booked a room. I was never planning on letting you get away from me tonight."


	5. Chapter 7

_**To those of you who have been reading this story and waiting for an update I thank you for your patience and willingness to read this story.**_

 _ **To those of you who do not like the subject matter or the pairing**_ _ **don't**_ _ **read it.**_

 _ **As I believe it is clear at this point this is not a Christian/Ana story and no matter what nasty or absurd comment is left the fundamental plot of the story will not change.**_

 _ **I have been having issues with getting my thoughts to paper for a while now. I know what I want the story to look like but am not always successful in articulating it. Your willingness to wait and continue reading this story even when there are many weeks in between updates is greatly appreciated.**_

 _ **I hope you like what you are about to read.**_

 _ **After debating on whether to move further into the story or stay in the present time. I read your comments and decided the hotel room and Carrick and Ana spending an uninterrupted night together was needed.**_

 _ **I hope this doesn't disappoint and I look forward to hearing your thoughts…**_

CHAPTER 6

APOV

Due to the fact that Sawyer 'escorted' Ana she had to get creative in order to slip away and get to the hotel… more importantly to get to Carrick.

Sitting in the back seat of the car as Sawyer drove she couldn't stop thinking about the night ahead. Tonight, she was going to get to be with Carrick with no interruptions, no made up explanations as to why she needed to see him alone or him her. Tonight, they would be free to be with each other however and wherever they chose. The thought made her skin tingle and had her heart racing.

Truth be told she was beginning to get fed up with the façade of playing the happy wife to Christian Grey. She hadn't been happy in years and every time they stepped out together and smiled for the cameras it destroyed a little piece of her each time. They hadn't always been like this. Once upon a time they were happy and he meant everything to her. Time went by, nights where she was left to wait for him an hour past the time he said he would be home turned into nights where she was left waiting for multiple hours. He would always text with an excuse and the excuse was always the same; _a business deal that had to be dealt with immediately_. As time crept on she realized that all the promises he made about cutting back his hours to spend quality time with her were nothing but empty words. When she realized that nothing would change and began putting the same focus into her career he had the nerve to try to make her feel guilty. Telling her he made enough money for her not to work, that her place was at home, etc. Over time their marriage became silent. He worked crazy hours and so did she and over time the only time they spent together was when they had to make a public appearance or when they slept next to each other.

No conversation was ever had the transition from happy in love couple to virtually strangers who shared a home and a last name just seemed to happen. The world thought they were happy based on the photos and Ana had to admit in some they actually did appear so. It left her sad to know how skilled they were at putting on a show when there was a time that they truly were happy and no effort was needed to appear so.

The situation became a habit that was at the best of times difficult, and at the worst of times impossible to break. It had been almost a year since they touched each other intimately or talked about anything of consequence. They had become two strangers who shared a home. For a while she tried to reach out but eventually she came to the realization that her efforts were not appreciated and certainly not reciprocated and that is when she stopped trying all together.

It was around that time that her job became her life. It was also at this time that she realized Carrick was just as obsessed with his career as she was with hers. The two had always been close, granted they had a rough patch at the very start over his momentary insistence that she sign a pre-nuptial agreement before marrying Christian. At the time she was deeply offended but now she understood where he was coming from. He was thinking as a lawyer who had seen plenty of messy divorces and was simply trying to protect his son. The two got over that moment and since then have always gotten along, only getting closer when Ana came to work for him.

Seeing the way, he worked the way his mind absorbed information the way he always had time for a client and never made anyone feel less then she began to admire him in a way that she never had with anyone else. When everything came to a head with Christian and she emotionally removed herself from her marriage she slowly began to notice Carrick as a man. The way he carried himself, the way he walked into a room, the way he dressed, it all slowly became noticed by her and she couldn't deny that she liked what she saw. Truth be told she fell in love with his mind and compassion before she fell in love with him as a man. And the chemistry between them while at the beginning was a bit strained became more comfortable and relaxed over the years. Then in the months leading up to the start of their physical emotional relationship the two were unable to not touch each other. For a long time it was appropriate but at some point it became so much more. What would appear innocent to others was anything but… the chemistry she felt with him now was simply out of this world. When he touched her… she had never felt closer to anyone in her life.

As Ana was deep in thought she heard Sawyer say her name.

"Ana we're here."

She looked at her CPO and gave him a small smile and got out of the car. Knowing she would be able to convince him of her plan with little to no effort because he trusted her.

"Sawyer why don't you take the night off? Go spend some time with that lovely girlfriend of yours. I'm just going to curl up with a book and turn in early." She could sense the hesitation in him as she spoke but she also noticed his desire to take her up on her offer. "I will set all of the alarms so their will be nothing to worry about." Moments ticked by and eventually he agreed.

After spending many years with Ana and often more time with her than her own husband Sawyer knew Ana and knowing her plan for the evening and how well she followed security protocol he decided to take her up on her suggestion. Before he left he insisted that she call him and activate the panic button if anything felt off or she didn't feel safe. Promising him she would he left somewhat reluctantly.

She felt guilty for deceiving Sawyer but she just didn't see any other way.

Waiting until she heard his car drive off she ran upstairs and got ready.

CPOV

Sitting in the hotel suite waiting for Ana Carrick felt his mind wander to thoughts of her. Ever since they began their physical relationship he couldn't not think about her no matter what he did. He noticed everything about her; the way she smelled, the way she walked, the way she moved her hands when she was deep in thought or concerned over something. He had always been fond of Ana but not once did he ever think about her as anything other than his daughter in law until that one night a month or so before their relationship became sexual. She was standing in her office looking out the window and he couldn't help but notice how truly breathtaking she was. He always thought she was a beautiful girl but that day he realized he was deeply attracted to her. Initially the thought left him horrified. How could he think of her that way? He was a married man and she was a married woman, married to his son no less. But then she started confiding in him about certain aspects of her marriage and even though she never came out and directly said it he could tell she wasn't only miserable but she was lonely.

As a man who had spent multiple years in a room separate to his wife for one reason or another he knew something about loneliness. He knew at times it was crippling to realize that the person you once loved so desperately didn't feel the same for you, even with his marital circumstances it hadn't crossed his mind to take up a lover. As time moved on and he and Ana spent more time together talking, confiding in each other he found it physically impossible to stay away from her. He was so insatiable and desperate for her he needed her in a way he had never needed anyone before and as their relationship progressed and days turned into months his desire for her only grew to the point where she was the constant thought running through his mind. If he was honest it was bordering on obsession and he was not too proud to admit that he needed her in a way he could never articulate. Thoughts about what she was doing or if she was having a good evening were frequent but he would be lying if he claimed that more often than not his thoughts didn't turn sexual. Seeing as he and Grace no longer shared a bed room it gave him a level of freedom to satisfy his needs undisturbed. Even though he and Ana had never gone more than a couple of days without each other he was still constantly aroused. No matter how many times or how often he had her it wasn't enough. Every night he would go home, get in the shower and pleasure himself to thoughts of her. In the last couple of months, they had gotten bold enough to engage in phone sex/texting when the opportunity presented itself. It thrilled him to no end that Ana was just as insatiable as he was. Her need for him was just as great as his need for her and nothing turned him on more than knowing she not only wanted him but needed him.

Caught up in his thoughts he felt the intense need to take care of his painful erection. It didn't matter that Ana would be there any moment he couldn't wait. Just as he was about to take matters into his own hands he heard the door open and their she was…

Standing from his chair he walked toward her so slowly she couldn't move. The way he was looking at her it was like she was his prey and she didn't stand a chance. Before she could react he was standing directly in front of her and had his hands on either side of her face. Pushing her into the wall and kissing her deeply and with such passion that her knees began to shake after being kissed breathless she pulled back enough to get a look at him.

She knew that look. He needed her and he needed her now. Putting her arms around his neck she began kissing and sucking his neck the way he liked. Adding just the right amount of pressure that she was almost biting his neck. Hearing him groan only turned her on more. Running her tongue across the front of his throat and over his Addams apple she nibbled his ear knowing how much that turned him on. Pressing her body closer to his, so close there wasn't a fraction of space between him she felt him rub against her core. He was painfully hard and it made her moan that it was for her. Bringing her lips to his ear she asked "What were you thinking about that has you so turned on love?"

He couldn't form a clear thought with the way she was touching him. Lightly pulling on his hair and rubbing into his erection to the point she they were almost dry humping each other his mind was no longer capable of forming a rational response.

She grinned when he didn't answer her. Knowing she could have fun with this she spun them so he was leaning against the wall. Moving her hands down his back so she was squeezing his ass she said "Were you thinking about this?" Digging her nails just hard enough into his skin and moving her hands down so she was scratching the back of his thighs. Seeing the glassy look and his eyes and the sharp intake of breath she knew he was suffering but she couldn't help herself. Moving her hands around to his hips and slowly making her way to the front of him she began slowly rubbing him, alternating between hard and fast and a light touch and an almost painful squeeze. "Or were you thinking about this? Thinking about me touching you…"

At that moment he knew if he didn't take over he was going to loose control and he didn't want that, not just yet anyway. Picking her up so her legs wrap around his waist he practically throws her on the bed, tearing her clothes off as she tears his off and spends the next several hours making love to her.

Lying in bed completely naked with her head resting in the crock of his neck, lightly scratching his stomach she lets out a breath as he lightly scratches her back resting his other hand on her hip gently squeezing it ever so often.

Feeling his breath close to her ear she can't help but smile

"Do you know that I love you?'

Hearing the tone of his voice and feeling how tender he is being with her she has no doubt. Before she has a chance to respond he keeps talking.

"The last few hours have been the best of my life. Laying here with you right now, touching you, holding you… this is the way it should be. It should be you and me. No hiding, no secrets, no rushing, just you and me loving each other."

She can't help but kiss his chest as he says those words to her. She didn't realize until that moment that those were the words she had been waiting to hear. Hearing him say that they should be together in the light of day, hearing how he felt about having her in bed with him made her heart pound in a way it never had before.

Moving her body so she was straddling his waist. Feeling him instantly start to grow underneath her even though they had made love multiple times in the last several hours brought a smile to her face. It wasn't just the sex with Carrick. Even though there was no denying he was the best she had ever had. It was everything… it was him.

Not wanting to loose the moment she leaned in and when she was a fraction away from his lips she said what he desperately needed to hear.

"You don't know what this, what you mean to me. You have become the person I want but also the person I need. I need you sexually, intimately, obviously." He couldn't help but smile at that. Unable to restrain himself he squeezed her hips so tight he was sure he would leave a bruise but he could tell his desire for her was turning her on. Leaning his head in he started sucking her nipple while his other hand messaged her other breast making sure she was as needy as he was. Feeling her lightly scratch his scalp he couldn't help but look up at her. Knowing she only made that move when there was something on her mind. Looking at her and seeing her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I need you to know. This, you and me, is the happiest I have ever been, in every way I need you. Yes, I love you and want you but more than that I desperately need you. You know I love you?"

No longer able to contain himself he moved her so she was underneath him and spent the next few hours in his favorite place in the world…


	6. Chapter 8

**Here is the newest chapter. Hope it was worth the wait. For those of you who have been kind and have offered constructive criticism I appreciate you and hope this chapter was worth the wait. For those of you who have been down right disgusting and hateful I wish you would move on and stop reading this story if you are so offended with my writing, but I guess that is too much to hope for…**

 **Happy reading**

It has been a week since that night Carrick and I spent in the hotel and since then it is all I can think about. That night was the first night we were able to be together like a "regular" couple. All this time a part of me has enjoyed the sneaking around aspect of our relationship; maybe because it made each time we were together exciting and exhilarating, like speeding down the street even though you know a cop could be watching and you could be ticketed, it was forbidden but we just couldn't seem to stop. The more time we spent together we only wanted more. That night we were able to be together in any and every way we wanted without rush, without worry. I forgot how nice it was to lay next to a man who wanted me next to him, a man who wasn't preoccupied. Laying in bed with him as he held me, rubbed my back and ran his fingers through my hair was the happiest I had been in a long time. We were both so insatiable that night. Only letting each other sleep for an hour or two at a time only to wake one another up so we could do it all over again.

In the uninterrupted hours we spent together I realized how amazing Carrick was and not just intimately. Granted the bulk of the time we spent in the room we were having sex, but we also spent hours talking about anything that came to mind the way we did before the physical part of our relationship began. Some people would have a hard time believing it but we did have a lot in common and those thing we did disagree on led to what could become hours long conversations debating our points back and forth. Until our relationship evolved in the last few months into a full-blown love affair I forgot how nice it was to have a conversation with your partner and not get bored with the others company.

Thinking about that night made me want to go down to his office and have my way with him all over again. Just as I was about to stand up my office door opened and who was standing there but the man who had been distracting my thoughts for the last several hours. So, distracted by him being so close yet so far away I didn't even notice that he had shut the door and locked it. Not knowing how it happened I found myself in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist as he had me pinned against the wall. Growling in my ear, as his hand went up my skirt. "I can tell you were thinking the same thing I was." Feeling his fingers slide past my panties as he began to work me over I decided to play dumb. "What was I thinking about?" Nibbling on my neck whispering in a husky tone "You were thinking about our night together in the hotel. How we couldn't keep our hands off each other. How we didn't have to keep our hands off each other." Just as he was about to take me against the wall in my office the intercom went off and the voice of my secretary filled the room. "Mrs. Grey. Mrs. Carrick Grey is here asking for her husband I told her he was in with you. She is requesting to speak with him."

And if those words weren't like a cold shower. Carrick gently placed me on the ground as we quickly went about straightening ourselves up and making sure we looked presentable. Carrick took his usual seat in front of my desk making it look as though we were discussing business grabbing an empty file to have in his hands to make the story more believable. Going to open the door for Grace I was once again hit with the fact that I didn't feel guilty, at least not the way I thought I should. Not having time to ponder that notion I put on my best fake smile and greeted my mother in law.

"Ana I am so sorry to disturb you, I need a word with Carrick. When I couldn't find him in his office I was told I could find him here."

To an average person there was nothing unusual about Grace's expression but to Ana she knew something was up. Before she had a chance to speak Grace continued. "Come to think of it you two have been spending a lot of time together lately… more than usual."

Like the good "lawyer" he is Carrick stood up and told Grace that the two of them have been working on a case that is quite time consuming. Spinning a tale about the complexities of the case and how if it goes their way could mean a big payout for the firm. Listening to him go on and on she wanted to laugh he was really selling the story and if she didn't know any better she would have believed him.

"Come on Grace lets go to my office. You go on ahead I need one second with Ana and I will be right there."

As soon as Grace was out of sight Carrick turned to her and handed her the file on their "client."

Letting a small giggle escape from her lips she took the file and complimented his story. "You are to good at this for your own good."

Taking a step closer to Ana he said in a low tone. "You should know by now how good I am at a lot of things."

Feeling her cheeks flush at his comment her mind immediately began thinking about all the things he was good at and it only made her want him more than before. "You don't play fair."

Seeing how she was clamping her legs together to get some friction and the way her cheeks were slightly red he knew she was turned on, but she was already turned on before Grace arrived. Her reaction could only mean she was more aroused… needier.

Not caring that her office door was open, or his wife was down the hall waiting for him he moved closer and in a tone that told her he wanted her just as a bad. "Let me take care of this and I will be back. I want you in the worst way."

Just as she was about to speak her assistant informs Ana that a Mark Anderson is waiting in a conference room for his meeting to speak with her about a personal matter.

Mark Anderson was an out of town divorce lawyer. He didn't have a flashy reputation and therefore didn't attract any unwanted attention, but he was good. Working in the profession for over 20 years he had a reputation of being fair and firm. Seeing as he was a mutual friend of Carrick's Ana knew he could be trusted.

Looking at Carrick he smiled before giving her hand a quick squeeze. "I have my meeting with Belinda later tonight. We are going to get this worked out. Once it's done nothing will keep me away from you."

2 hours later Ana was done discussing every possible scenario she could think of with Mr. Anderson. He was shocked to learn that there was no pre-nuptial agreement in place and more surprising to him was Ana's insistence that she didn't want anything. All she wanted were her personal items, her car, and more important his signature on the divorce papers. Explaining to Mark the security that follows Christian and by extension her she wanted a clause placed in the paperwork that there would be no continued security placed on Ana, and that her current security would end immediately. She did not want her every move followed anymore the way it had been for the last 8 years. She wanted to be able to come and go as she pleased. The media circus that was Christian's life was never something she enjoyed. She tolerated it and the security up until now because she loved Christian and she knew knowing she was protected set his mind at ease. But now with events about to unfold as they were security, in her opinion, was no longer necessary. Seeing as my demands were simple and straight forward Mr. Anderson assured me the papers would be ready in a few days. Walking him to the elevator and thanking him for his help I felt a wave of relief come over me. Knowing I was taking the necessary steps to move forward was liberating.

I was momentarily saddened to see Carrick's office shut down for the night. Then again, the meeting went on a lot longer than either of us thought. Noticing it was already 7 pm I sent my assistant home for the day.

Once I knew I was alone I walked down the hall to the halfway point between my office and Carrick's. In the last month or so when ever one of us had to leave the office without saying goodbye we left a note in a decorative box that sat on the table decorating the hall.

 _Ana,  
I'm sorry I had to leave without giving you a proper goodbye. Or finishing what we started in your office earlier. You best believe we will pick up where we left off as soon as we can. I will talk to you later tonight, as always. Anxious to hear how it went with Mark._

 _You know I love you._

It always made me smile reading the way he ended a note to me. It always ended the same… _you know I love you._ I did know. He never gave me a reason to question it or him and it was refreshing.

As I was packing up my things to head home I saw I had a missed call from Christian. Momentarily stunned to see he had called, not able to recall the last time that had happened. I was about to call him back when I noticed I had a voice mail.

" _ **Anastasia, I have to leave for Taiwan tonight. An emergency with the shipyard deal we have been working on for the past several months has come up and I need to be there ASAP. Taylor is taking me to the airport now – our flight leaves at 9:00 tonight. I don't know how long I will be gone, guessing it will be 3 to 4 weeks. I will contact you when we land."**_

No "good bye", no "I love you", nothing… just telling me he will contact me when he lands and the loud beep signaling the end of the message. Knowing this is what our marriage has come to is filling considering the meeting I just ended with Mark. Looking down at my left hand at the beautiful rings that have sat on my finger for so many years. Slowly sliding them off wondering why I was still wearing them after all this time I slid them into my purse grabbed my things and walked out of my office.


	7. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, I never intended to take this long working on this chapter. Life got away from me and in truth I was procrastinating a bit as well. I always get a little nervous before posting a chapter to this story. As you know the reviews to this story go from one extreme to the next and I will admit I have to work up the courage at times to continue with this story.**

 **With that being said. I respect the right to say what you want and feel how you want. I know this story is not for everyone.**

 **For those of you who have taken a liking to this story and have stayed the course I thank you.**

 **Things are going to start heating up so I hope you enjoy what is to come.**

Ana's POV

After listening to Christians message, I sent word to Sawyer that I was ready to leave. Driving home I looked out the window and came to the realization that this part of my life would soon be over. As soon as my attorney had the divorce papers ready I was prepared to present them to Christian. I found some relief in knowing that Christian would not be home for the final days of our marriage giving me an opportunity to gather my things and have them moved without having to worry about him coming home unexpectedly. The odds of that happening were slim to none since he hadn't come home before I was asleep in months, yet it was comforting to know I wouldn't have to explain anything until I was ready. It would be on my terms and that was something that gave me great comfort. As we continue to drive my thoughts drift to Carrick. I am anxious to talk to him and tell him my thoughts regarding Christians extended business meeting and hear what his attorney Belinda had to say. I know his divorce will be much more complex then mine. He and Grace have been married for 40 years in comparison to the 7 years I have been married to Christian. As terrible as it sounds I don't carry much guilt knowing I played a crucial role in 2 marriages coming to an end. Perhaps after everything is said and done and I have a chance to reflect on what has happened I will view things differently, but in this moment all I care about is ending the shame my marriage has become and starting my life in the light of day with Carrick. We both deserve to be with someone who will put us first and not just when it is convenient for the other person but all the time. We deserve to be with someone who values us, our thoughts and opinions without making us second guess ourselves at every turn.

Walking into my empty apartment I head to my office and set my briefcase on my desk. Any other night I would work for a few hours before going to bed, but tonight I have no energy. Ultimately, I decide to take a bath while I wait for Carrick to call. After sitting in the border line boiling hot water, I feel myself relax. Reflecting on my day and my meeting that I had with my attorney earlier today I feel really good about the progression of things. The poor guy was shocked when I told him Christian and I didn't have a prenuptial agreement and more so when I told him I didn't want anything from Christian. He informed me that if Christian decides to contest the divorce I can have a 3rd party arbitrator oversee the case and make a ruling based on the content of my petition, which I already knew. Seeing as I am not making a play for any of Christians assets there is no reason to suspect the judge wouldn't rule in my favor. My attorney made a point to mention that Christian could request we undergo marriage counseling. Even though I was aware of this the notion still left me surprised. The bottom line is I am no longer interested in working on my marriage. There was a time that I would have welcomed seeing a counselor but now it would be too little too late. I honestly don't think Christian cares enough to even try to save our marriage at this point. I know, for a fact, I don't.

I text Carrick letting him know that I am home alone and to call me when he can. Several minutes later still soaking in the tub my phone rings. Not trying but sounding quite seductive and throaty when I answer the phone. "Hello handsome." I can't help but smile when I hear the slight moan coming through the phone. He asked me what I was doing and when I told him I was taking a bath he got quiet… too quiet. "Hmm… I wish I was there with you." "So, do I so you could finish what you started earlier today. You should know that it is not acceptable that you left me hanging like that." He laughed at that and promised to make it up to me at work tomorrow. The thought brought a wide smile to my face. With it being Saturday I knew the office would be practically empty and he would be able to make it up to me like he promised, several times in fact. Deciding to switch topics knowing the current one we were on would leave both of us even more frustrated than we already were. I told him all about my meeting with Mark, my attorney, and how it went as well as could be expected. I told him that Mark was confident that the papers would be drawn up and ready within the week. I went on to tell Carrick that Christian was away on another, unexpected, business trip and that he was expected to be gone for multiple weeks. He went quiet on me but then went on to say the same thing that had occurred to me earlier. With Christian being gone it would give me the opportunity to gather all of my things and have them taken to the new place I intended to live before he returned. That way the day Christian returned I could serve him with the papers and not have to worry about anything other than his signature on the papers before walking out of Escala forever…

Carrick told me how his meeting with Belinda, his attorney, went. As I suspected, his divorce from Grace was going to be much more complicated than mine from Christian. The separation and division of 40 years' worth of assets, investments, and properties could prove to be a tedious task. Knowing Grace is not likely to help expedite the process and that she will most likely be devastated and shocked when she is served with divorce papers. The reality is that Carrick divorcing her will cause a serious hit in her social standing which is all Grace has genuinely cared about for the last several years. To top it off the added humiliation that Carrick is leaving her for a woman several years her junior. I told Carrick about the conversation I had with Grace the snarky comment about him spending more time with me than usual. I had a feeling Grace was up to something, but Carrick brushed it off as if it was insignificant. He said that his explanation about a new client and how much money it would bring into the firm seemed to be enough to satisfy her. I decided to let it be. Figuring as long as Grace was kept as bay for a few more weeks I was happy.

Saturdays at the office were always more relaxed than during the work week. No secretaries are there and maybe a handful of partners show leaving as quickly as they can. Its 3 p.m. and Carrick has been held up in his office all day working on the necessary paperwork required to get his license and practice law in the state of California. He is leaving tomorrow and will be gone for at least a week overseeing the new law office our firm recently acquired, while finishing the necessary paperwork to get his California license. This will be the longest we will be apart since we began our romantic relationship and I am not happy about it in the least. If only there was a way for me to go with him, but with Sawyer tagging along it wouldn't work. I got lucky that night that I spent with Carrick in the hotel but I knew I wouldn't get that lucky twice. It was not unusual for me to spend a Saturday at the office working but going out of town for a week with Carrick we had never needed to do that before so attempting to explain why such a trip was necessary now seemed to potentially invite more trouble than it was worth. The last thing I wanted to do was make anyone suspicious of the time I spent with Carrick and I knew he felt the same. Deciding Carrick has worked enough for one day I make my way over to his office and I smile when I notice we are the only two remaining on our floor. Walking into his office I smile when I see him sitting on his couch surrounded in paperwork. Closing the door and locking it behind me I kick off my shoes as I walk closer to him. Looking up at me he gives me a huge smile that I know is reserved for me. Standing from his spot he walks toward me and pushes me against the wall with enough force that my head bangs the wall. Kissing me like he hasn't seen me in days, sliding his hand under my dress as I wrap my legs tightly around his waist and my arms around his neck. Kissing my neck, the way he knows I like. He says the very thoughts that have been playing in my mind for the last several minutes. "If I have to be away from you for a week I better make the most of it." Not giving me a chance to respond he slams his lips against mine and shows me how much he is going to miss me over and over again…

Several hours later we are both trying to get ourselves together after making quite a mess of Carrick's office. Realizing how late it is we both decide to head out and call it a day. Knowing he has an early flight tomorrow we know we are saying goodbye until we see each other the following Saturday. Grabbing my arm so I am looking at him, he rests his forehead against mine. "This is all going to be over soon and then it will just be you and me." Giving him my best smile and kissing him one last time I walk out of his office and head home. I refuse to get emotional and make him feel bad about leaving knowing he is already having a tough time.

Grace's POV

Sitting in the living room I can't seem to get it out of my mind how different Carrick has been acting lately. Specifically, in the last month the change has been impossible to ignore. He seems to be happier lately and has a bounce in his step. When I asked him what it was that was making him so happy he told me there was a new client that was crating a lot of revenue for the firm and in turn him. However, he has had plenty a client and several have turned into a financial windfall so I am having a hard time believing it is just the new client that is responsible for his sudden transformation.

My curiosity was getting the best of me so I decided to look through his room today while he is at work needing to know if I can find anything that could explain the change in Carrick. Not sure what I am looking for, but deciding it can't hurt to look. As I step in his room I realize the last time I was in his room was last year when he got the flu. We have had separate bedrooms for several years… the intimate physical part of our marriage just seemed to slowly fizzle out over time and we never attempted to ignite it again. I have always rationalized the changes in our marriage by citing my busy social schedule and hectic career that take all of my time and energy, and it helped that Carrick has always seemed to be happy working 80 plus hours a week. We lost that romantic spark a long time ago, and since he has never raised any objections about the lack of intimacy between us I never felt there was a need to try again. We do spent time together at the social events we attend and that keeps us both happy… at least I thought we were.

After searching for well over an hour and not finding anything I decide to peak around his office. In the bottom of one of the desk drawers I see a leather datebook that I can not recall ever seeing before. Realizing the datebook has a small lock on the cover I continue to search his desk hoping to find a key. In the way back of one of the drawers I come across what I am looking for. Flipping through the pages I don't see anything that catches my eye until I reach the middle section of the book and come across a bill for the Four Seasons along with several post it notes. All of the notes were written by a woman and as I read them I feel my heart pounding in my chest; "Last night was amazing.", "Can't wait to see you tonight.", "I can't stop thinking about you." And several that say, "I love you."

Dropping the date book like it is on fire I am in shock. Sure, I was suspicious but to see it in black and white right in front of me is more than I can take. I feel my legs give out from under me as I collapse into his big leather office chair. How could he do this to me? We have been married for over 40 years … I thought we were happy. He is leaving for California tomorrow and will be gone for a week and I can't help but wonder is he taking her with him?

Who is this woman? Is it a secretary or paralegal in his office? Knowing it has to be someone at work just based on the hours he puts in, it would be extremely unlikely for him to find the time to have met someone outside of work.

Ana may know after all according to both Christian and Carrick she works just as many hours as he does. Monday I will go see her and see if she knows anything. I know how fond Carrick is of her so it can't hurt to dig around a little.

Ana's POV

Sitting in my office looking out of the window that give me a great view of the city I feel myself already getting agitated and it is only Monday morning. I know the reason for my bad mood is due to Carrick being gone and knowing I won't see him for several days. Realizing the time and that I only have about an hour to prepare before my next meeting I know I need to get my head in the game and focus. Just then there is a knock on my door. Expecting it to be my PA who ran out to get me something for lunch I must admit I am a bit surprised to see Grace standing in my doorway. Grace and I have always gotten on well and in the first few years of my marriage to Christian and working with Carrick she would occasionally stop by but we haven't had an impromptu sit down in close to 6 months so my curiosity is definitely getting the better of me.

"Grace, what an unexpected surprise. Please have a seat."

She walks into my office but declines taking a seat asking if I have a few minutes. Telling her I am not due back for about an hour she surprises me by going right for it and forgoing pleasantries.

"I need to talk to you about Carrick."

Feeling unnerved hearing Grace say his name but quickly pulling myself together and acting as nonchalant as possible. "What about him?"

"The last few weeks he has been different and I must admit I am worried about him. He hasn't been himself and at times when I call him he isn't available even though when I ask him about it he claims he was working in his office all day. Maybe it's the doctor in me but I'm worried he has some kind of health condition or is seeing a doctor for some reason but doesn't want me to know about it. He's been distant and distracted. I know how closely you two work together and I wanted to know if you have noticed anything odd or strange."

Hearing Grace speak and thinking back to the comment she made the last time we spoke about Carrick sending more time with me lately. My senses are on high alert. She knows or suspects something but the question is what and how do I find out more without giving myself away? "Grace, I'm sure it's nothing. Yes, Carrick and I do work closely and to be frank I have not noticed anything out of the ordinary. We have all been busy with a new client that is proving to be a lot more work than we initially anticipated and there is also the acquisition happening with California firm so everyone is under a lot of stress. So maybe that is what you are picking up on. If you are really concerned about hi schedule the one to ask would be his PA. Everyone comes and goes quite frequently around here for one reason or another so I can't say where Carrick is or what he is doing at any given moment of the day." Seeing the look on her face I know the last part of my schpiel came out more forceful than I intended. The strange thing is Grace doesn't call her on it and instead walks around her desk and gives Ana a hug.

"I figured it was worth a shot. You see him more than I do and I figured if anyone would know you wound be my best hope. Anyway, I have taken up enough of your time." She lifts my left hand and realizes I am not wearing my wedding ring seeing the curiosity written all over her face I answer her unasked question. "I was fiddling with my ring this morning and it felt like one of the stones was loose. I need to take it in after work today and have it looked at."

"Well dear I'm heading downtown after I leave here I would be more than happy to drop it off for you."

Thankful the rings are still in my purse after I took them off the other night I dig them out and hand them to her telling her I appreciate her willingness to take care of it for me.

As Grace walks out and my PA walks in with my lunch I realize I have lost my appetite.

The exchange with Grace puts me more on edge than I realized and I suddenly feel sick.

Sitting in my meeting an hour later I feel myself getting nauseous yet again. Excusing myself from the meeting and rushing to the bathroom I make it just in time to lose what little food I have eaten today in the toilet.

Grace's POV

Dropping off Ana's rings at Cartier I decide to stop by the office of a private investigator that I spoke with earlier this morning. Handing the gentleman Carrick's itinerary as well as the $5,000 fee we agreed upon he assures me he is one of the best and if there is something to find he will be the one to uncover it.

Leaving the PI's office, I wonder if Carrick is with that whore right now. I just hope this guy can get me photos of them together. I am dying to know who the hell this woman is.

Ana's POV

Man am I glad today is over with. Sitting in my home office tying up a few loose ends I decide to call it a night even though it is only 8 p.m. I'm still feeling queasy from earlier and decide to take a shower and go to bed. Earlier I sent Carrick a text telling him I was home, but I knew he was having dinner with one of the attorneys from the firm so I didn't expect to hear from him for at least a few hours yet.

Hearing my phone ring I realize I must have fallen asleep. Looking at the clock it is almost midnight and just as I suspected its Carrick calling. Answering the phone, I know he can tell that I am half asleep but despite the late hour I'm glad he called.

"Hi baby." Hearing him call me that turns me on and the ass knows it too. Knowing how he is and knowing he is doing it on purpose makes me smile.

"I miss you. When are you coming home?"

"I miss you too love. Looks like Friday if everything goes according to plan. All depends on when they are able to get my paperwork filed so I can officially be named a partner. I had dinner with one of the partners and she is hopeful that we can get it done by Thursday since she is leaving for New York as soon as the takeover is final and then I can come home to you." For a few minutes he fills me in on the dinner and then asks me about my day.

"Well I had an interesting visitor." Telling him all about my conversation with Grace he agrees with me that her visit is suspicious and like me wonders if she knows something.

"I wonder what got her so curious all of a sudden. I need to talk to Belinda and get the papers drawn up ASAP. I don't like this…"

I finally get him to calm down assuring him that no matter what happens we are going to be together and that I love him, repeating the words he said to me "just you and me"

Grace's POV

I just received a call from my PI saying he was able to get some photos of Carrick having dinner with a younger woman. Apparently, they were at some restaurant in the hotel where Carrick was staying, and after dinner they both got on the same elevator together. He goes on to say that he will stay in California for the rest of the day and see if he can gather any more information and will return to Seattle sometime tomorrow.

Hanging up the phone. I sit with my head in my hands wondering what I am going to do. I'm hurt, of course, but I don't want to make a public spectacle about this… a divorce would be humiliating and would not make me look good in the social circles I frequent.

After thinking about this situation insistently for what feels like hours I come to a decision. Carrick doesn't want to be humiliated or talked about any more than I do. We are married and we do love each other. If he can conduct himself in a discreet fashion I decide I can look the other way and find a way to live with his indiscretion.

Ana's POV

Waking up this morning I was starving. After throwing up yesterday I never felt like my stomach fully settled so I didn't eat anything last night. I know I shocked Gail when I asked her to make me pancakes and bacon this morning. She smiled like I had just told her she had won the lottery. I loved how caring she was and how sweet and compassionate. I was going to miss her when all was said and done.

After a busy morning my PA brought me lunch and once again I couldn't keep it down. Wondering what was going on with me. Thinking maybe I was catching some sort of virus. I decide to be safe to make an appointment with my doctor. With everything going on I can't afford to be sick.

I am pleasantly surprised when the doctor is able to squeeze me in tonight. Alerting Sawyer to the change in plans I finish what I need to and head to my appointment.

Grace's POV

The PI called and told me he is back in town and has his finished report and photos ready for me. Hours later I sit with the envelope on my lap not able to open it when finally, my curiosity gets the best of me and I tear into the envelope. Reading the report and seeing photo after photo of my husband with a pretty, much younger woman. I wonder where they met. The report says they had dinner Monday night and went on to have drinks after at 10:30 p.m. the two entered the same elevator and were not seen again until they exited the same elevator at 9 a.m. the following morning. The two got in separate vehicles and left the hotel traveling in opposite directions. The PI followed the woman to the bank, doctor's office, attorney's office, and finally a small café where she and Carrick met again for lunch. His surveillance ended at the café because he needed to catch his flight back to Seattle and in his opinion his job was done.

Looking at the photos. He is laughing in one of them, resting his hand on the small of her back in the other… I know I said I could look the other way and live with it as long as he was discreet but that was back when the affair was speculation now that I have proof I'm not so sure I can go through with it.

Ana's POV

"Good evening Mrs. Grey what can I do for you this evening?" The doctor said warmly as she greeted me.

I explained to her what had been happening the last couple of days; how I got nauseous after lunch to the point of throwing up. In short, I tell her I am concerned I am coming down with something. She asks the typical questions about whether I had eaten anything strange or exotic in the last few days. After telling her no she asks if pregnancy is a possibility. Seeing as I had my period less than 2 weeks before I tell her no. Truth be told the idea of being pregnant never even occurred to me. Before I have a chance to dwell on it further the doctor interrupts my thoughts. "Okay, well just to be safe let's go ahead and do a pregnancy test and draw some blood so I can run a few other tests to determine what is going on if anything. I will put a rush on the blood work and should have the results back by tomorrow afternoon."

I get home feeling exhausted that evening and decide to turn in early so I text Carrick telling him I'm not feeling well and am turning in early.

The next morning goes by without incident when my PA alerts me to a phone call around 11 a.m. saying it is Dr. Green

"Good morning Mrs. Grey I have the results of your blood test. Do you have a few moments to talk?"


	8. Author's Note

So, I got an alert last night that a new chapter had been added to the story. I have re-read the story as it stands, and everything appears to be in order. I know some of you have noticed that between yesterday and today roughly 2,000 words are missing from the story. What happened was I decided to delete an author's note I posted a while back and was attempting to tweak something in chapter 3 (nothing major just something that had been bothering me) so I posted the 'correct' version of chapter 3 and then later deleted the original chapter 3. Hence the 2,000-word count change and the slight mess of how the chapters are numbered. Due to not doing it the easy way and updating and replacing the chapter I have inadvertently left many of you confused and I apologize. I do hope this clarifies what happened and that it was an error, in the end, on my part.

From what I can tell the story is in order.

I apologize for any confusion this has caused and appreciate those of you who left reviews on this matter.

I hope to have the next chapter written and posted soon.


End file.
